I had a beautiful dream the other day. I saw my Nanaji (maternal grandfather) at his house. Other members of the family and I had gathered around, and we were sharing about our lives with him. I looked on in wonder and admiration, as I always did when he was alive. But the dream ended with him walking away once again as I longed for his company. I woke up with a bittersweet feeling. Bitter because I was once again reminded of his absence and sweet because I could see him, at least in my dream.

In the great scripture Bhagavad Gita, Shri Krishna begins by talking about the temporary nature of matter, i.e., our body and the eternal nature of the consciousness or the Atman that resides within the body. No matter how many times one reads the words of the great master and such scriptures, death never stops causing hurt. But the master’s words ease the pain and make reconciling with the inevitable loss easier.

Death, which is such an integral part of living, is always inevitably received with shock. It is not so much the death that is the cause of pain, but the absence one feels when the body of a loved one dies. The presence one felt when the soul or Atman was manifesting as the body hit really hard.

My Nanaji passed away sixteen years ago. The dream was a reminder of how much he is still missed and how no relationship can ever be replaced or fulfilled by another.
As I write this, I also feel grateful for the bond of love that binds us humans through various relationships. With time the people, the meaning attached to the equation may change, but the bond of love endures. The bond of love is such that even death cannot take that away. This thought and idea gives a lot of solace to me.

LIFE THY SYNONYM IS CHANGE

Have you ever felt wanting to cling to a moment in your life?

You just did not want the moment to end?

A moment you keep replaying in your mind repeatedly, for it just wasn’t enough to live it once?

Our memories are such a fantastic tool given by nature. They can be both solace and agony.

Reminiscing about the good old days is a happy bonding activity between two individuals. Latching on to happy memories when we are low can also be such a mood-uplifter. In my guided meditations, I have often used happy memory recall to create an uplifted consciousness— both for me and my students/clients.

Using memories to nourish our existence, to feel grateful, or even to learn lessons is wonderful. But when we cling to memories and refuse to reconcile with the passage of time and the law of eternal change, we will work ourselves into a depressed state. Take it from me; I have been there and done that!

Here’s a personal reflection on how I have tried dealing with inevitability of moments and attachments to them.

For years and essentially most of my adulthood, I have traveled alone. Mostly, it has become my default style of travel for various reasons, often by choice and the lack of it!

In 2023, for the Shri Krishna Janmashtami festival, I traveled to Govardhan Eco Village. It is a place I have a special attachment to for multiple reasons. It was the first time I was away from home to celebrate the most important festival for the followers or worshippers of Shri Krishna. I asked a dear friend with a similar inclination towards spirituality/Krishna if he wanted to tag along, and he affirmed.

The two nights, a short, tiring but amazingly enriching trip, were memorable because of his company.

I have traveled to places within and outside the country alone. I thank the universe, my Krishna, for the opportunities and the lessons in independence that solo travel has brought into my life. I have also become adept, trained, and comfortable eating alone, watching movies, etc. There was a time when I felt a sense of pride about these things. With time, I feel more humbled about going solo for travels, movies etc.

It is wonderful to be self-dependent but not something to cultivate pride. Keeping Batman as an example, I do what is needed without looking to create dependency. Good company in pursuits such as travel, eating, etc., is a boon. As a yoga practitioner and teacher, I should also remind you to eat your food silently and mindfully. But wouldn’t it be wonderful to share your silence with someone?

Now, I know most probably my next trip may again be solo. I will miss my friend’s company when I depend on the downloaded movies and shows on the iPad or read books on the Kindle (this is a blessing in itself, though). I will reminisce how I did not have to depend upon either of these things to do, for we had a lot to share, and the time spent in travel passed by instantly. But rather than getting attached to that experience, I can use it as an opportunity to have lived through that experience and look forward to the gift that solo travel brings. I also hope to finish a book or two and watch an interesting movie.

This is the idea I plan upon acting through for even other aspects of my life, travel notwithstanding. The idea is to not be latched on to moments and try to make them last or stay rooted there. Instead, I would receive the gift that specific life experiences bring, appreciate them, and then root myself in the present. If one, as most of us usually are, remains stuck in the past or daydreams about the future, then one misses the present.

If the past can be used as a tool to re-energize us in the present, to motivate us to live the present enthusiastically and cultivate gratitude, then the faculty of memory provided by nature has served its purpose well.

GITA WISDOM

The Supreme master Shri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita says,

नासतो विद्यते भावो नाभावो विद्यते सतः ।
उभयोरपि दृष्टोऽन्तस्त्वनयोस्तत्त्वदर्शिभिः ॥

Those who are seers of the truth have concluded that of the nonexistent, there is no endurance, and of the eternal, there is no change. They have concluded this by studying the nature of both.

2.16

The enchanting and all-knowing charioteer of Arjuna describes the truth about material and spiritual precisely and concisely here.

The nonexistent here refers to the ever-changing matter. We know now how matter decays each moment— be it our body or material objects. As per Shri Krishna, to grieve over that which has no enduring value is a sad waste of energy.
Since birth, we have experienced profound changes in our bodies, minds, and thoughts. The only thing that remains constant is the spark of the divine within each one of us— the witness consciousness, our Atman, the soul. That witness consciousness is what is enduring.

So, as we continue going along our life journey, collecting experiences, and making new memories, we can remember Krishna’s wise words on what endures and what doesn’t.

I found an apt and lovely quote by the German poet Ludwig Jacobowski summarising my entire post in one line. That’s the beauty of poetry anyway, no? To be able to convey substantially using much fewer words.

Do not cry because they are past! Smile because they once were!

I hope this article was a worthy investment of time. I also hope you found new, uplifting ideas to enhance your life journey.

Kushagra