Be Like Jack

Just as the last week’s blog, this week again I draw inspiration from a tv show. My favourite tv show currently is This Is Us. Available on Hotstar and Amazon Prime, this emotional drama has some incredible writing and performances.

In one episode, one of the main characters of the show, Rebecca, gets involved in an accident because she was talking on the phone and not paying attention to the road. As she is getting admitted to the hospital, she keeps fretting about how her husband and kids would react.

When the husband, Jack, reaches the hospital, Rebecca starts putting up a defence for her present condition by uttering something like:

“Oh, I’m so sorry…this happened, then that happened and the next thing I knew…”

Jack cuts her off by saying,

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s happened now. Just tell me how you are right now?”

These lines impacted me so tremendously that I’m making an entire blog inspired out of it!

Everyone one screws up. Me, you, big people, small people, the wise and otherwise…just like sadness is part of the human deal, so are mistakes, I believe.

It’s not as much about the mistakes though, it’s how we end up reacting to the mistakes.

Personally, I have experienced lots of angst at others’ and my own mistakes in life. The angst gets repeated again and again as I review the problem, keep harping on what could’ve been, why it happened and instead of moving on, I end up staying stuck.

When Jack said to his wife, “It’s okay, it’s now happened”, it jolted me to realise the power of acceptance. Jack isn’t doing something phenomenal here. He isn’t propounding some profound philosophy; he isn’t quoting the scriptures. All Jack does is accept. Boom!

Yet, this simple little act of acceptance can be so tricky.

I find myself wondering, how’d it be more like Jack and say, it’s okay, it has happened. Let’s move on. Let’s see what can be done now. There is no erasing the past. There is no time machine available (yet) to go behind and change something.

One of the pillars of self-love is acceptance of the self—the good, the bad, the ugly, the evil.

A few months ago, I made a huge boo boo. It cost me a considerable sum of money. I was quite shattered, honestly. Shri Krishna‘s words from Bhagavad Gita helped about accepting life’s reversals with grace. Support from some friends like Sheetal and Rizwan (in whom I confided) is always a blessing.

However, what my own therapist and teacher, Miss Priyanka of IJSS told me blew me away completely.

“Kush, the question here is can you accept this not so smart, supposedly stupid self of yours as well? Can you love this part of yourself too?”

Self-love isn’t just about growth and improvement. It’s also about acceptance of our errors.

While we’re working at accepting ourselves more, we would find it easier to accept others’ follies as well. Coming from personal experience, I’ve witnessed that our external behaviour is always a mirror of our internal conditioning.

A person with solid self-esteem wouldn’t put others down.

A person who can accept his or her own self would quickly adapt to others.

One who can forgive themselves can also forgive others easily.

What a complicated, beautiful, painful, fascinating experience it is to be human, folks! 😅

Thank you so much for reading this blog. Be sure to share how you liked this piece.

I wish you laughter, joy, harmony and peace.

Kushagra

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE WEEK

  • World War II brought out the worst and the best of humanity. A moving story about two sisters in France who resisted the Nazis in their unique way is presented in the Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. Read the review below.
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Book reflection: The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah Wars usually glorify (or vilify) men with guns and bombs. The Nightingale gives you the story of the struggle of two French sisters, who in their unique way, resisted the Nazi occupation of their land. Vianne is the elder one—the self-absorbed woman who likes to submit to the situations around. Her sister, Isabelle, is the rebel. Not one for following rules, she gets involved with the freedom fighters to resist the Nazi movement. How both evolve through the war and their struggles and make their contributions is essayed beautifully. The book is a painful and descriptive account of the life of the French under Nazi rule. The heart-break of separation from family and friends; the anxiety of living through each day and surviving; the terrible effects of war are all captured well by the author. I also liked that here we get another perspective of how even the non-Jewish people felt the ill effects of a damaging war. I feel the book could’ve done with a bit more liberal editing—thought the narrative was far too long to have the kind of impact it should have. Yet, even as I write this, I assume the author purposely crafted a slightly sluggish narrative for the reader how hard was it to go by even a day under occupation. The book is highly engaging, can also cause a few drops of tears to trickle down your face if you read with absorption. ‘All Light We Cannot See’ by Anthony Doerr remains my favourite historical fiction on WWII. Which is yours?

A post shared by Kushagra Singh (@krsnapresthaa) on

  • I published the third episode on the Wisdom From The Smiling Panda Podcast. Have you heard it yet? 😁 Check out the link and listen to it on your favourite platform. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts etc.
  • Allow this piece from Sounds of Isha to take you on a peaceful and meditative journey.

2 thoughts on “Be Like Jack

  1. islejazz

    “A person with solid self-esteem wouldn’t put others down.

    A person who can accept his or her own self would quickly adapt to others.

    One who can forgive themselves can also forgive others easily.”

    Can there be people who do practise acceptance and yet are low on self-esteem? And those who can forgive others but not themselves?

    Because I was terrorised (by elders) over mistakes I committed (due to carelessness) as a kid, I am more accepting of the mistakes others commit (like breaking or losing things etc.)

    However, there is also this thought – would our acceptance portray us as a pushover to others? Where do we draw the line?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kushagra Singh

      Considering there are all kinds of people and their unique journeys, yes, I believe there can be people who practice acceptance of others yet cannot accept themselves. There can be people who forgive others yet cannot forgive themselves. This aspect though points to some deep, unresolved trauma and being in the wrong set of company. If one has been around forces that reinforce model of self-doubt and criticism, then self-acceptance and forgiveness can be tough.

      Forgiving is not the same as condoning. We may forgive but we can always draw the line of what is not comfortable and appreciated by us. You try and accept people and situation as they are because that is to ensure we are not fretting in the present. However, post-acceptance one can see how to help the person see our perspective and if they are willing, to be able to help them as well.

      Like

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