An Apologetic Wish

Birthdays are special. We are made to feel special by the people around us. Good, kind people. God bless them. It is an excellent occasion to express your appreciation for the person who’s there in our lives. Some people who have the emotional bandwidth of a teapot and are as expressive as Katrina Kaif, they’re forgiven. But, hey, largely it is nice to share your heart’s emotions with people on their birthday. A nice excuse to make people feel special and all that.

Because do we ever really grow up? Does that little kid who vies for attention ever get over it? Unless and until it attains some form of enlightenment, I don’t think so.

I had my birthday recently, and somehow birthdays have been a confusing event for me. I mean, it is a big deal that you appeared as a human on the day, and it is a good occasion to reflect on life and, well, inevitable death 🙂

Birthdays in childhood meant getting your school friends home and playing cricket and video games with them. Early adulthood led me to be around Shri Krishna and a few friends who were happy to accompany me to Vraj. Adulthood has meant experimenting more with solitude 😊

There have been times I have been pissed beyond reason on certain friends who did not wish or call or do something I expected them to do. I mean, hey, it’s a business deal, right?

Michael Scott gif.

HUMNE ITNA KUCH KIYA UNKE LIYE AUR UNSE EK BIRTHDAY WISH TAK NAHI HUA? 12 BAJE RAAT MEIN HUMAARI NEEND NAHI KHARAAB KEE UNHONE?

Basically, unki zindagi mein aur koi kaam nahi hai. Bas calendar pe nawab sahab ka birthday pe gola maarke, din kaate woh 🙃 Expectations can be quite a bitch, you know.

I heard someone was put off by one of their best friends because they did not put up an Instagram story for them on their birthday. Such things have become important in our digital age, it seems. Fair enough.

What irks and fascinates me at the same time, though, is the collective guilt in wishing someone late or forgetting their birthday.

When some people sent across their wishes through texts, I noticed how they were ‘so sorry’ for wishing me late. It is good they were because it gave me material to churn out another blog (ha ha) but, quite curious to observe how we as a society have nurtured this guilt in people.

Hey, someone is taking out their precious time to type out a wish, and they have to include an apology because somehow, in the past, people (including me) have induced guilt in others for not wishing them properly and ‘on time’. And this ‘on time’ itself can have so many definitions. For some, it can be midnight, for some first thing in the morning, for some it can be thank you, dear Prime minister jee, because of you, I was born…no, not that. Sorry, I started typing like I’m a current government minister. 🙃

I wonder now what is more important?

Someone genuinely being there in my life for most of the year

OR

A person making me feel special for one day of the year?

Life in the metros goes by at such a fast pace that you can post (and re-post) about an occasion in your life, and tons of people will view it. But as we labour on zombie-like in our lives that we fail even to send an emoticon reaction. We’re too caught up in the frenzy of our own problems that it genuinely is hard to be able to care. Ever since this realisation dawned upon me, I feel more compassionate towards myself and others when they don’t wish. And, it accentuates my gratitude for the ones who, despite their busy schedules, find time to share a text, a wish, a call (which I have to pick up because it will be rude to ignore calls on birthdays 😬), a mention on some social media platform— This may not be much, and it is just a normal thing for them maybe, but I feel so blessed to find people taking out even a minute to type a wish.

I’m grateful to Krishna for inspiring the idea that I, for one, do not wish to be a part of a group that piles on guilt on others for not doing ‘enough’ for me.

It is okay if you wish late. Thank you that you did :)) It is okay even if you did not. Let there not be obligations. Let there not be formalities. And most importantly, let there be no clarifications for you being occupied with life.

Most importantly, if you expect something from someone, better spell it out to them. Because contrary to common human perception, no one is a mind reader— especially the people who’re close to you :))

To all those who read this, whenever your birthday might be, whether or not I wish you ‘on time’ or post a ‘story’ or make a ‘post’, I wish you the best and when I do extend a wish, know that I actually sit in meditation to send you light :))

Kushagra

P.S. My birthday is on the 6th December. Abhi se calendar mein mark kar lo. Reminder set karo. Aur wish aisa chahiye jaise Prime Minister jee ko karte log— Apne birthday pe bhi mujhe hee wish karna. Photo nahi hai saath mein story mein daalne ke liye toh mujhse maang lena, main bhej dunga apni koi acchi solo picture. Bhai, kisne bola saath mein photo daalni hai? Birthday mera hai, ismein bhi tumhe footage chahiye? Chew… oh and time pe wish karna ekdum. Main bhale hee phone off kar doon, aap jaagte rehna aur 12 baje try karna call karne ka. Gift kee wishlist pehle hee puch lena aur main nakad bhi accept kar leta hoon. You have less than a year to plan. Get moving. 🙃

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